Olive
"Beyond the fray"

Take someone you know
They have climbed the highest tree
You think the fight was won
Take a look around

A smile should now appear
Beaming brightly ear to ear
Consolidate your stride
On solid ground

But what you see is all for show
There is no meaner man to know
You can run back to what you had
You're all alone

I'll mark the day
When we can meet beyond the fray
Don't lose the will to see your home
You find the way so we can meet beyond the fray
I'll fight to see that you get home

Consider this small clue
Look beyond your point of view
Make a space for honesty hide

Much of what you do
Smacks of one whose friends are few
Do the decent thing and jump
The ride

But what you see is all for show
There is no meaner man to know
You can run back to what you had
You're all alone

I'll mark the day
When we can meet beyond the fray
Don't lose the will to see your home
You find the way so we can meet beyond the fray
I'll fight to see that you get home

But what you see is all for show
There is no meaner man to know
You can run back to what you had
You're all alone

I'll mark the day
When we can meet beyond the fray
Don't lose the will to see your home
You find the way so we can meet beyond the fray
I'll fight to see that you get home

I'll mark the day
When we can meet beyond the fray
Don't lose the will to see your home
You find the way so we can meet beyond the fray
I'll fight to see that you get home

If life is a dream, then never let me wake
I sleep, forever in your arms.
Of peace, love and happiness I dream
our world without harm.

(a short poem i wrote)

~*This is going to be long, My dream was Insane last night, so bare with me.*~

Wow, Insane dreams last night, I had a dream I was set up by someone I really care about. I was at a mall and shopping and there was a sting operation to get me stealing a palm pilot but since I'm not a thief it was a setup. Anyway in the store this guy with a badge and plain clothes shows up and put those plastic tie-cuffs on me. As we're walking and I'm being arrested the guy says "don't drop the palm pilot" that's when I realized someone had stashed it on me, my "friend" looked at me like "I'm sorry" but remained quiet...and I was like "fuck, I got setup" so I ditched the palm pilot on an aisle while I was being escorted out by the officer, this entire time I thought he was a cop but he wasn't. I realized that he was just some shitty store security... I had managed to break the plastic cuffs... punch this guy in the face and run off...

You'd think it would end there but that'd be no fun.

I run outside and this stretch gremlin pulls up, this guy hops out and says "can you valet this for me" I say "sure" but I'm thinking "getaway vehicle" (You gotta understand that I'm 6'4" and this car was TINY, like almost cartoonish, my head and shoulders were sticking out of the sun roof and it had a 6 speed manual engine, with almost no power....) so I drive out of the mall and I'm being chased, by cars with sirens, I think "I need to ditch this car, it has no power and is going to get me caught" I hopped in another car, something sporty, a porsche or something, and hall ass out of there...

***That the end? No, it gets weirder. Go ahead and get something to drink, or some popcorn.***

I drive up to this huge roadblock, I'm thinking "Ok, now I'm really fucked" Let me paint a picture for you... It was a rural road, plenty of trees to left side, right side was grassy hills, that sloped upward creating a valley with hills on one side, thick dense trees on the other. The roadblock was full on military, with large troop transports loaded with soldiers (probably 5 total). So I pull up to this roadblock thinking "shit, I'm caught" but I noticed something was fishy, I say "what's going on here" one of the 'soldiers' says "we're here to catch a thief" I said "what are all these troops for" the soldiers informs me that the first troop transport is in charge of 'vests' (they all hold up camo-vests) the second in charge of helmets (second vehicle's troops all hold up helmets) third, one of the troopers said "grenades" but he held up a bottle of water and was like "just kidding, we're in charge of bottles of water" I was thinking to myself "this is the mall security army, they look fierce but are absolutely harmless, this has got to be a joke!" I run down the line, shout "vest! helmet! water!" I am now equipped and dressed like a soldier. I then proceeded to stow away in one of the troop transports where I have a sexual encounter with one of the "soldiers" It wasn't sex mind you, but it was very sexual... and that's how I made my get away.

I just thought I'd share that, I usually have weird nonsensical dreams but I forget them after I wake up... Comments/questions are always welcome. :)

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It's a crazy mixed up world we live in, and just when you think you have everything figured out, the floor disappears. It's ok, I have wings for that, they're a little rusty but I can still soar. I havn't flown in awhile though...

God I miss driving in my car listening to tunes. I think I'm starting to get stagnent, or at least cabin fever. Being home all day does that, I mean I can get out and walk around downtown but that's not really traveling, I should walk farther, stretch my boundries, find something new. If I spend all my time introverted I'll just go crazy.

What is madness but an extreme case of bordom?

The countdown to my birthday begins. I don't really want to get older but it's inevitable. I am getting in shape though, I'm tired of my body, and I want to improve it. Over the past year I've lost 30lbs, and another 20 or so more and I'll be where I want to, in about 5 or 6th months I will become a force to be reconed with.

Tall, dark and handsome? I don't think it's too much to ask for. I ask myself why I'm doing it, I'm not sure I really know, I suppose it's to be healthy and live longer, as well as feel better about myself. I am disillusioned with the whole concept of 'beauty' though, I just know to be myself, and if people don't accept me for that, then fuck them.

I'm just really conflicted today, I know great things are going to happen to me, and that I'm the one who has to set them in motion, but I'm waiting for something. Money, Enlightenment, a Sign? I'm not sure, but I'm not going to stop searching.

"Let the sky fall down, let the leaves turn brown, still you know you could never make me love you more." Yeah, I love cheese music, but somehow this song isn't true, because I love the person I'm with more every second.

I hear your winter
and I hear your rain
and I feel your summer rays
and I feel no pain.

Life is really grand. I woke up at 8 this morning, refreshed and ready to take on the world again... I've never felt so rested as I have in the past week, which is rare. I've never been able to lie down next to someone and fall asleep, usually I'd just lie there tossing and turning and get a couple of hours of sleep after they left. Not the case anymore. I feel great! This must be what happens when I have someone I really care about next to me, I'm totally comfortable.

Ahh what a tangled web we weave. Top of the food chain one minute, sleeping with the fishes the next, at least emotionally. Love and Hate are so closely related sometimes, it's funny, if you ever stop to think about it... can people even distinguish between the two? Or does everything just get mixed up in a snowstorm of emotions?

I guess I'll strap up my snow shoes and try to brave this one out...

Life is great, I love my job, I love my woman, and I love my life. I usually get blue around the holidays but I'm picking up momentum, and I'm rolling towards something great (figuratively of course)

I worked today for 4 hours, made $.62 in tips (the decimal might be in the wrong place, for irs purposes of course) It's december, My birthday is coming up. Not sure what I'm going to do for my birthday but I want to have a party with Rebecca her birthday is the day after mine. Apparently I have to plan and throw the party though, which doesn't quite seem right since no one's really thrown me a great birthday party. Oh well, can't lose that momentum. I'm going to hit the New Year running and not look back.